Recipes (kinda)

“Recipes” for the busy, vain and culinarily challenged


Yes, I know “culinarily” isn’t a word. But it should be. And as self-appointed King of Becca’s Awesome Blog, I hereby declare “culinarily” to be a real word, to be recognised within the realms of this community, now and forever more, as a sign of the highest culturedness (also a real word) and intelligence!

So, disclaimer: I can’t cook.

Well in fairness, it’s debatable. I can cook FOR ME. But I can legitimately eat an entire jar of pickles by myself, so I’m not sure I’m the best judge of culinary (actually a real word) prowess (very clever word I read in a book). I’ve cooked for friends and family before, and they haven’t thrown up. Actually, some people even asked for seconds (I was possibly 3-4 hours behind on the promised serving time, but I’m sure that’s irrelevant). Either way, cooking is not something which comes naturally to me, so when I do enter the mysterious and alien realm which is my kitchen, I want to grab what I need and get out as soon as possible. Since I started working full-time, I realised I wasn’t getting enough protein or vegetables in my diet, partly because “I’m so busy, I just FORGET TO EAT! Oh gosh I hope people don’t worry I’m getting TOO THIN!”…..mainly because I have a seemingly unending supply of simple carbs and cheese which are just so damn readily available. Much like I am after a bad breakup: you know you’re gonna regret it in the morning, you know it’s bad for you and you’ll feel disgusted with yourself for at least a couple days, but, you know, it’s just….there….

So I needed to get my macros in with minimal effort. “Why not protein shake?”, you say. Well, because they’re gross. And they feel like a cop-out. Like a bunch of expensive chemicals and artificial flavourings designed to make you feel like you’re giving your body what it needs, without actually performing (do not say “much like you after a bad breakup”). I say this with absolutely ZERO knowledge as to whether or not protein shakes and fitness bars etc. actually do what they say they do (cue sponsored product review), but I just feel like I should eat old school “real food”. So, in moments of desperation (and mild malnutrition), I came up with a bunch of pretty palatable recipes which work for me, so they might work for you too. The neat thing is that they are mostly surprisingly flexible (NO! No post-breakup comments, PLEASE!), so you can tailor them to your own tastes and needs…..and wants……and desires…and wishes……..OK so just tastes. Enjoy (maybe)!


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